Ineuendos
by Bellemortesflower
Summary: based on two lines that popped into my head from my lesson today, SMUT in later chapters! KLAINE Easter camping trip where things get steamy! LOTS OF SWEARING INVOLVED
1. Chapter 1

The Easter holidays were fast approaching, and the Warblers decided that it was time for the annual 'Easter egg extravangza camping trip' Wes, was as normal, trying to bring order to the chaotic Warblers meeting and failing miserably. Blaine was too busy making eyes at Kurt and not-too-subtly-flirting with him to step in and help whilst Kurt kept glancing over when Blaine wasn't looking, and blushing furiously when he was caught staring by the others.

Amid the chaos David nudged Thad and pointed to the pairs painfully obvious eye-rape war and decided there and then that they would make these two get together over this holiday. They smirked evilly, high-fiving and calling an end to the meeting, desperate to go start plotting.

Kurt looked up, startled by everyone's sudden departure. Looking questioningly at Blaine he asked, 'Was it decided where we would go for this camping trip then? And will we be in a house, 'cause I CANNOT stand to be sleeping on the ground with the dirt and the bugs. AND I will require a proper shower to be available at all times.'

Blaine chuckled and wrapped an arm round Kurt, leading him from the room, assuring the second lead singer that he could easily convince the other warblers to agree with everything he said.

Kurt's heart hammered in his chest, hoping that the older boy wouldn't notice how small the gap between them was, wishing that it was both bigger and smaller. As soon as he thought that he blushed bright red, mentally scolding himself for being so easily embarrassed by the gorgeous boy's presence. Not that he blamed himself, Blaine was seriously fuckable he decided, watching the boys lips move as he spoke.

'God, he's so talented with that tongue when singing, I wonder if he's just as good at using it when its wrapped around my... NO, not going there you perverted mind!'

Blaine turned to look at the younger Warbler, a confused expression on his face. 'Did you just moan?'

'N-no, you must be hearing things.' Kurt laughed nervously, waving a hand as if to dismiss the idea, completely unaware that Blaine was now staring at him, wondering how it was possible for someone to be so cute when they were embarrassed.

Blaine decided to drop it, since he would be able to question him to his heart's content later and spotting David up ahead, he told Kurt to stay where he was for a moment, and that he would be right back. He was mildly concerned, recognising the sly grin as a beware-I'm-plotting face and wondered what on earth the others were up to.

'Ok David. Drop whatever it is you are planning. I dont want to have to sit through another evening of how Wes wants to kill who ever took his gavel. What I wanted to ask was. Well...as you're in charge of room allocation... for the camping trip... I was wondering...' he trailed off, not sure how best to phrase it without sounding like a pervert. David obviously got the hint and laughed, clapping him on the shoulder, laughing and telling him it was all sorted before walking off. Blaine frowned, wondering what he'd meant by that. Surely he wasn't being that obvious was he?

Shrugging it off, Blaine returned to Kurt, deep in thought. If David could see it, did that mean all the others could too...more importantly, could Kurt see it? He hadn't noticed Kurt dropping any hints or making any suggestion that he felt the same way...did that mean he didn't? As they walked along to get their usual coffee, Blaine found himself staring at Kurt even more than usual, hoping to pick up any clues. Anything to give him a better idea of how Kurt felt about him. Did he just see him as just a friend, or was he too, hoping for it to become something more?

Kurt noticed the intense stare Blaine was giving him as he ordered their coffees. He turned around suddenly, catching Blaine in the act of staring at his arse. True, he had modified his Dalton regulation trousers to make them tighter, but they weren't THAT tight, not tight enough to elicit stares f that sort of nature at his backside. His heart skipped a beat. Had Blaine seriously just been checking him out! He smiled, holding out the coffee for him to take, trying to play it cool as they took a seat with their drinks.

'Thanks for the coffee,' Blaine put down his now empty cup, smiling gratefully as the last of the not-so-hot liquid soothed his throat.

'It's no problem. Think of it as thanks for convincing them no tents,' chuckled Kurt, getting to his feet. Blaine grinned, and followed suit, letting his arm fall into its usual place round Kurt's shoulders as they walked. Kurt ducked out from under his arm as they reached the dorms, bidding him goodnight as he turned away down the corridor to his room. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' he called as he went.

'Yeah, bright and early. ' replied Blaine. He was seriously looking forward to this trip, more so than any of the other Warbler's outings and this time Kurt was to blame. He was nursing a semi just thinking about sharing a room with Kurt. All the possibilities; seeing him all dishevelled first thing in the morning, or maybe catching a glimpse of that beautiful dancers body after a shower, water trickling down his chest and stomach to where-Oh shit, cursed Blaine, slamming the door shut, hoping no-one had seen him rushing down the corridor, bright red and hard as fuck. Damn Kurt Hummel and his sexy ass. Said Hummel was sat on the bed in his room, wondering if it was Blaine he had heard swearing softly and hoped desperately that he wasn't the cause for such crude words.

But hearing the usually so dapper boy become a little unhinged had caused Kurts heart to speed up. Maybe he would get plenty of new fantasies that he could use at night by bunking with Blaine. Ones that could be based on reality and not just imagination...

As he sat thinking about Blaine Kurt couldn't help the thought that kept coming up-Does he keep 'dapper mode' as he had affectionately dubbed it, on all the time? Kurt's cheeks flushed, as his mind decided it was giving up and just launched itself into the gutter.

This trip was either going to be the best break of his life...or the most torturous one if the strong urge to run down the corridor and jump Blaine didn't go away. Either way it was going to be a long weekend.

**A/N Hi everyone, first glee fan-fic, but not my first one ever. Been a good 5 years since I wrote one last. And today my teacher was talking about innuendos and two lines popped into my head. So I contacted my long suffering muse and we made this together! Enjoy! **

**Long Suffering Muse note. ...Well how could I say no when she suggested a glee fic? (The Klaine is good no?)**

Kat and 'Chia!


	2. bananas and intervetions

Blaine and Kurt stared at the room in front of them, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Sure, they had both been desperate to room together, but now they were there...

'So, uh...do you want to go top or bottom?' asked Blaine, attempting to break the silence, then immediately regretting his choice of words.

'Oh, I'll top any day of the week dear'. Kurt had decided that he would torment Blaine. Well, after being stared at for the majority of the journey to the camp-site he felt it was worth a little payback. He grinned seeing Blaine's cheeks turn almost as red as the piping on the blazers they'd thrown on over their casual clothes for the journey and breezed past him, tossing his bag onto the top bunk.

Kurt could almost understand why Blaine had been staring so hard. To take advantage of the rare non-uniform day he had put on the tightest pair of skinny jeans in the world. So tight, that if he got even a _little_ excited he would be struggling to fill said area with blood. And he had been sitting in a very suggestive manner across the bus from Blaine, leaving a _very_ open view of his said jeans.

Poor Blaine had spent the whole journey alternating between trying to sneak a subtle glance here and there, and trying not to blush too much. He vaguely wondered if Kurt knew how sexy he was being, then the look Kurt gave him over the top of his unnecessary but totally fabulous reading glasses confirmed it. How Blaine could have ever compared Kurt's sexy faces to gas pains he would never know. He was pretty sure Kurt had just been taking the piss when he'd been pulling those faces, cause right now...well fuck.

Kurt decided to stop teasing for a while and suggested they go explore a little. Blaine only had one area on his mind that he wanted to explore at this particular moment, that indent where Kurt's neck met collar bone… The click of the door opening bought Blaine back to reality and he jumped up to follow Kurt, thankful he was wearing a longer top than usual and hoping Kurt wouldn't cotton on to what he'd been thinking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As they walked along, Kurt intending to go look at the shops in the nearby village, he noticed the other Warblers popping up a lot more than he would have expected. Wes stepped in and grabbed hold of Blaine saying it was absolutely imperative that he listened to what he had to say, and literally frog-marched him away, leaving Kurt gaping at the space where they had been. 'The fuck are they doing? He thought, until David grabbed his arm and dragged him into a nearby café.

Kurt was startled to see basically every Warbler save Blaine and Wes sat round two tables and generally not being quiet.

'Um guys. What on earth are you all up to? You're acting kind of-'

'Kurt, this is an intervention. We saw how Blaine kept ogling you on the bus and we saw how you deliberately gave him something to ogle...'

Kurt chose not to answer that and let the others continue their rant

'Well' David cut in, noticing Kurt's not-answer that just confirmed the previous statement 'We, as in the Warblers, have decided that you are to sexually frustrate our dapper boy until he can no longer keep it in his pants and decides to jump and have hot-monkey sex with you'.

'H-Hot monkey sex!' sputtered Kurt. 'There's no way in hell that's happening. A good fuck however...'

'Whatever you want to call it, we are fed up with the waiting, and you're making me lose the bet, I said you'd get together before sectionals...' David grumbled.

Kurt decided to forgo commenting on the fact they had been rude enough to bet on how soon he would get in Blaine's pants and smiled. He was a teenage boy after all, and his hormones were flying around like crazy…

'Teasing Blaine hmmm? I think I can manage something that easy.' he laughed.

'Good, now we are taking you shopping for 'supplies'. How big is your penis...? Nope, sorry how big do you reckon Blaine is, as you're more likely to be a bottom than a top...' Thad said rather loudly, motioning them out of the cafe and earning shocked looks from both the waitresses and Kurt.

'Excuse me.' Kurt gave them a killer glare that his father would have been proud of. 'Did you just say I would be bottom? I can assure you fair gentlemen that I am quite obviously a giver not a taker. Admittedly, I may be more feminine than most, but I am still very much male...' There were a couple of exchanged glances but no-one had the courage to make any snide remarks so Kurt decided to start listing his demands…

"…..and finally. I DEMAND a cheerio outfit. If Dalton doesn't have one then _get_ one made." And with that last order Kurt sauntered off, a bag in hand whilst leaving the bigger ones with the other boys to sneak into his luggage whilst Blaine was out of the room.

"Even though he said that...bets on him bottoming?" chimed in Jeff.

'So what did Wes want?' asked Kurt, casually flopping down onto the garden bench next to Blaine, making sure to stretch his long legs out in front of him as he pulled and unfolded a magazine.

Blaine almost spat his drink out when he saw the front cover.

'So, did which article did you buy that mag for? I didn't think Cosmo was your usual type of reading material.' Blaine asked, avoiding Kurt's question.

'Huh?' Kurt looked up from the magazine, feigning innocence. He managed it fairly well considering he was holding the issue of Cosmo with 'How to please your man: A Guide to Blow-Jobs' emblazoned on the cover. 'I do read it from time to time actually. This issue has quite a few good articles, plus they have an interview with Lady Gaga! Who we both know is so much better than Katy Perry...'

'Oh come on, Katy Perry is a goddess, plus her songs are perfect to serenade with...'

'She was cut out of a children's TV program because she showed too much cleavage!'

'Gaga regularly wears next to nothing.' Kurt frowned as if deep in thought.

'You think so? I was thinking of re-modelling my wardrobe on her..."

Kurt trailed off, leaving Blaine's mind to fill in the rest...or the lack of it.

'Without the tiny bras and thongs obviously' added Kurt with a chuckle. 'But maybe the see through apron...or the fur coat from bad romance? Oh, actually I think on our next non-school uniform day I should wear what she wore in the born this way video.'

'Wait' Blaine stuttered, 'Wasn't that video done in just her underwear?'

'..I meant the Thierry Mugler suit dear. I couldn't possibly go bare-foot in public'

'...but you'd be fine in your underwear?'

'Well, why not? I'm hiding a pretty good body under these clothes you know.'

Kurt continued flicking through the magazine, holding it up slightly higher than necessary to hide the smirk that graced his features.

Blaine just sat there, trying to process that thought of Kurt in his underwear... and if these jeans were any indication, they would have to be _tight _to avoid the dreaded VPL whenever he wore anything other than the school trousers. All coherent thought left Blaine's mind when he saw Kurt slide the banana into his mouth through lips that had tightened, denying it entrance.

After a few minutes of sitting there in stunned silence he finally managed to regain use of his voice for long enough to ask Kurt what he was doing. Kurt removed the banana from his mouth and smiled innocently.

'Well, i did say that were a few articles that interested me..'

'Yeah, but...'

'Did you know apparently running your tongue over the-'

'I heard it works better if you do it more like this...' David leant over Kurt's shoulder, making Blaine jump. Apparently he had been reading the article over Kurt's shoulder and he just hadn't noticed his presence. (read: been able to take his eyes off Kurt's administrations on the banana) David lifted said banana to his mouth, flicking his tongue over the tip before sliding it in and sucking.

'Ohh, you're probably right. What do you think Blaine? You prefer it with more tongue action or being pumped during?'

Blaine's jaw practically dropped clean off. Was Kurt seriously asking how he preferred his blowjobs!

'You seem pretty good at this sort of thing David, you sure you don't get practice on Wes at all?'

'Well, if you want Kurt, I could give you a few pointers later on tonight...' winked David. 'Demonstration's included'

Kurt giggled and playfully swatted his arm away whilst huddling up to Blaine. "Blaaaaaaiiiiiiiine, save me!' exclaimed Kurt pressing his face into Blaine's chest, grinning when he could feel his heart hammering away even through the jumper he was wearing.

'David, back off' Blaine practically growled, finally managing to get words past the lump that had formed in his throat. He hoped to hell that it wasn't his gag reflex. David held his hands up in mock surrender, telling him to chill before giving Kurt a seductive grin and suggesting they do it another time, not so subtly adding extra emphasis to the it. Blaine let out a real growl this time that had both Kurt and David staring at him in shock. David seemed to take the hint and scurried off, wailing to Wes that Blaine was bullying him and throwing himself into his arms.

Wes sat with David, looking out the window, the pair of them grinning like Cheshire cats.

"So far so good...but did you really have to be so hot with the banana yourself?' blushed Wes, trying to get the way David had held eye contact as he slowly released the banana from his mouth out of his head.

'What? Kurt can't have all the fun." laughed David. "But I think Blaine might FINALLY jump Kurt before the end of these two weeks...'

'That bet is so ours mother fuckeeeeers!' they cried in unison, high fiving.

**A/N Thank you for the hysterical reviews guys 3 This one was fun to write. And it gets even better-we're taking it downhill from here ;D Hope you enjoy LSM (Long Suffering Muse)**

**Please, review, we have discovered that we are a pair of review whores. And AS I post this we are already working on part 3! BTW, VPM = visible panty line. I thought I should clarify that as I had to ask 'Chia what it meant when she typed it…**

**Until next time, Kat and 'Chia signing off!**


	3. Beach Vollyball

The day had started out well for Blaine, first he had gotten to see an incoherent Kurt fall out of the top bunk, causing the duvet that he had been trying to bring to cover himself up with fall off and leave Kurt's chest exposed. Second he had seen Kurt, with his full bed head glory stumble and bang his shoulder into the door frame while entering the bathroom

Muttering an ouch, even though it didn't really hurt Kurt went and stared at the mirror trying to remember if there was something wrong. Hearing movement behind him, he was suddenly reminded that he wasn't in his room, but was in fact sharing with Blaine. Who had just seen his chest and his bed hair.

And his bed hair was really bad this morning...

He glanced up into the mirror, glad he'd left the door open enough for him to see Blaine's reaction. He really wasn't expecting Blaine to be gawping after him, flushed and hard. ...Kurt was pretty sure it was just morning wood, but the way Blaine had been looking at him recently he wasn't quite 100% certain. Maybe the whole teasing thing was working way better than he'd thought

Speaking of morning wood, he looked down and saw that he had the exact same problem. Squeaking, he shut the bathroom door and proceeded to 'sort himself out' in the shower.

Hearing Kurt jerk off in the shower had already made Blaine's morning, but then hearing his name being muttered while Kurt was doing that just made it absolutely in-fucking-credible.

Before he lost his mind and rammed that door down, Blaine hastily got dressed and fled to the kitchen, trying to think of things to 'cool down' with.

Kurt sauntered out of the bathroom, letting his towel slip a little as he rummaged through the wardrobe for some clothes. He grabbed a shirt that was tucked next to a carrier bag, which had a note inside which simply said 'enjoy' and he couldn't help but think that maybe the other boys had already had some of the 'supplies' (1)to tease Blaine with packed in their suitcases, as there was no way they could've gotten such a uniform so fast.

He was interrupted mid 'turquoise or teal skinnies' by Wes and David bursting in wearing their swimming trunks.

It would have been acceptable had Wes not been wearing just his blue and rainbow swimming trunks with David wearing an almost identical pair, the only difference being that his were green not blue. More worryingly, David was also brandishing a bright pink pair of trunks, the same shade as Blaine's ever present sun-glasses.

'First, are you sure you two aren't getting it on? Because you sure act like a married couple at times.' Wes and David just looked at each other as Kurt continued. ''Because if Blaine and i ever got together I would draw the line at wearing matching clothes...'

"There's no way I could deal with all the scarves' joked Blaine, snatching his trunks back off David as he pushed his way back into the bedroom. 'And what's with those shorts?'

'It's because we're awesome. We got some for you too Kurt, don't worry." Wes grinned manically, holding a matching pink pair out for Kurt.

'Did you not just hear my last comment?' Kurt asked.

'Oh, but you said if you and Blaine ever got together, but you aren't. Yet'

Blaine just looked between them as this went on. 'Did I miss something?'

Kurt laughed and took the shorts, all three of them ignoring Blaine's question.

'Did neither of you think that me, being my fashionable self, might have packed my own set of trunks?'

"We did. But we really wanted to see your face.'

'Oh, by the way. Coach to town leaves in 5. Might want to haul ass guys'

With that the troublesome twosome as Blaine had dubbed them, were gone as fast as they had appeared.

'So, is there anything at this lake other than a sandy beach? Like, will I get any shopping done when we go through town?' Kurt asked, before squeaking as he turned to face Blaine. Blaine had decided then and there to strip and put the violent pink trunks on, without any kind of coverage.

'Yeah, there's this really awesome sports section right on the beach, you can play soccer or beach volleyball and things there.' Blaine said, completely oblivious of the fact that Kurt now had his back to him and his entire body had flushed pink.

Kurt stammered a reply, busying himself with pulling a suitable outfit from his wardrobe. 'Cool, so I will need sun cream and things….'

The trip to the lake come beach was pretty uneventful, although Thad had for some reason felt the urge to take the longer route there through the town, stopping in a couple of shops saying he'd left his trunks at home and wanted to grab a pair although all of the warblers save Blaine could see that Thad was wearing his trunks.

'Hmm, it's kind of brighter than I expected today. When we get there you mind helping me top up my sunscreen?' asked Kurt. 'I can't really swim with my top on. Its designer' he explained.

Blaine nodded without really thinking about it before it clicked that he would be rubbing cream over Kurt's body. Kurt watched Blaine as his face heated up and chuckled to himself, deciding that he would do everything he could to make it harder for him.

A few moans here and there and Blaine would be a complete mess…

Taking the bottle he motioned for Kurt to lay on the towel that he had placed moments before. It upended and squirted the bottle, causing it to splat up Kurt's back in lines that looked similar to...

'Wow, done already Blaine?' Kurt chuckled. 'Didn't know you were that fast...'

Blaine shook his head to rid himself of the image, delicious as it was, and started to rub the sunscreen in. He didn't answer, he was too busy trying to ignore rush of blood to his crotch that just got worse every time Kurt writhed under his hands or whimpered 'because it was cold'.

Kurt let out a low moan as Blaine's ran his hands along Kurt's shoulders, enjoying it much more than he should have when he felt Blaine tense up behind him. 'Ah, don't stop' he mumbled into the towel. Blaine groaned inwardly, trying to dismiss all the dirty thoughts that one phrase had bought to mind. If he didn't know any better he would swear down that Kurt was just trying to get himself jumped.

"I'm telling you I don't care if I lose the bet anymore. If Blaine doesn't jump him in the next week there's gotta be something wrong with him,' muttered Thad.

David nodded in agreement. 'If that sorta stuff were aimed at me I'd be fucking him senseless right now. And I don't do girly guys"

'I didn't think you did guys of any kind' Thad pointed out.

"Not sober.' Wes practically choked on his drink, 'Anyway. You get it?'

Thad nodded and held up one of the bags he'd picked up whilst getting his 'trunks'

David clapped him on the shoulder. "You know what to do then"

"Oi Anderson. You done with that yet? I'm going to fry up if you keep hogging it." David shouted, jogging over.

"Uh yeah. You're done Kurt." Blaine got up awkwardly, hoping his semi wasn't too obvious, and chucked the bottle over in Davids direction. He had been far too engrossed in rubbing Kurt's back, being allowed to touch him, rather than being an accidental touch this time. He decided the sooner he got into the cold water the better and followed after Wes, diving in. Thad used this chance to sneak the bag to Kurt, winking before running and dive-bombing in, covering everyone in water. Kurt opened the bag, smiling at the contents. This was going to be good.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Blaine stood towelling himself off, ready to go kick the others arses at volleyball when he was distracted by Kurt coming up to him, fresh out the water. How anyone could be that fuckable without even trying was beyond Blaine. He spaced out, watching as water trickled down Kurt's perfectly toned chest, past his bellybutton, down towards the waistband of his shorts which were scandalously low.

"-Blaine! I was asking where you put my bag?"

Blaine blushed, hoping Kurt hadn't noticed him staring like a creeper at that beautiful body of his and went over to the pile of bags, Kurt's bright Missioni one standing out a mile.

As Blaine bent over Kurt took the opportunity to stare at Blaine's backside, then glancing up, he saw Wes motion to an imaginary watch, stating that it was time to pull out the big stops. And by big stops, he meant the costume...

Kurt winked at him, letting him know it was on, and rushed off to get changed, declaring there was no-way he could play in wet shorts when Blaine asked what he was doing.

Blaine shrugged, leaving him to it. Although he did have a point, he wouldn't be able to play if Kurt stayed in those shorts. The way they clung to his curves, plastered against his skin was enough to distract anyone, even the straight guys on the team. Blaine had definitely caught David staring more than once. But he already had questionable sexuality so maybe he didn't count... but did that really matter? Someone was oggling his Kurt, and that really wouldn't do. An accidental ball to the face might put him off during the game he thought, grinning as he picked up the ball.

'Yo Dapper-boy. Get yo arse over here so we can get this game started' The beat-boxer of the group called out.

Blaine rolled his eyes and marched over to the makeshift court, scanning the groups for Kurt. To his surprise David was missing too, and he'd expected him to be first up here. They eventfully gave up waiting for the missing David and Kurt and began to play. About 10 minutes in Blaine's team was winning 6 points to 2.

As Blaine dived for a ball that was just out of reach, he caught sight of David and Kurt leaving the changing rooms. He wouldn't have been so distracted had they not both been wearing matching cheerleading outfits. Dalton cheerleading outfits at that.

Blaine's jaw dropped, watching as Kurt came up to the court. He always walked with a sexy swing but those tight trousers really emphasised it and Blaine couldn't be sure, but he thought Kurt might be exaggerating it a little. Either way he couldn't take his eyes off him. Kurt smiled and called over, saying they'd start cheering once they'd done their stretches.

Blaine took a ball to the face which he noticed had been deliberately thrown at him by Thad, then he took another one to the chest, a present from Jeff. But still, he couldn't keep his eyes off the way Kurt had lifted his leg and placed it so easily on David's shoulder, and was now leaning into it, stretching out his thigh muscles, but more notably giving a great view of his ass.

The trousers were on the right side of tightness, and allowed Blaine to glimpse the muscle movement as Kurt switched legs.

He frowned as Dave grinned, holding Kurt's ankle and saying something he couldn't quite lip-read. Kurt laughed as he slid his leg he was standing on back slightly, stretching even further.

Blaine managed to duck under another ball, not caring that he was supposed to have hit it back and glared at David, who winked and muttered something to Kurt who nodded, removing his leg and instead reaching down to touch his toes. David followed suit and Blaine was slightly surprised at how good an arse he had, but it was Kurt's he was watching...okay, gawping at. Stretching done, Kurt breezed up to the courts smiling innocently, as if he were totally unaware that he had just been seriously eye-raped.

Kurt suddenly ran at Blaine and leaped into midair. Blaine caught him out of pure reflex, them blushed red as his face ended up equal with Kurt's stomach. And the tight shirt did nothing to hide the slight 6-pack that could be seen.

Kurt giggled as he was put down.

"Blainey-boo, what's up with that face? Doesn't Dalton have cheerios?" he teased.

"I think he just wants to rag you." butted in David walking past.

Kurt pretended he was embarrassed, blushing, whilst Blaine turned scarlet for real.

'W-What did you just say!"

'Ok, thanks for that David. Well, I think I need to head back to the camp now. Blainy-boo, come with me. I want to show you something...' Kurt trailed off, giving his best puppy dog eyes to Blaine, in hope that he would get the silent message.

David laughed and latched onto Wes, demanding he win after he put on the stupid outfit, as Kurt physically dragged Blaine away.

Blaine's mind was racing; producing all kinds of naughty thoughts about what Kurt could show him. Especially with that outfit on. And being dragged had its benefits. One, for example, was that he could stare at Kurt's arse without being called out on it. Not that Kurt had ever called him out on it, in fact unless he was getting totally the wrong idea, he seemed to like it. Blaine felt a bit guilty wondering if it had anything to do with his comments about Kurt's lack of sex appeal. Because, right now, penguins were becoming a very sexy animal indeed. Kurt finally released his grip on Blaine's hand and turned to face him.

Blaine's heart jumped a little at how close they were, it was like Kurt was inviting him to kiss him.

'What are you thinking about?

The question threw Blaine, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. 'That penguins are sexy animals.' As soon as the words left his mouth Blaine mentally face-palmed, whilst Kurt blinked at him a couple of times, not sure if he had heard that correctly.

'So, now you have an animal fetish?'

Blaine flushed bright red.

"N-No" he squeaked, embarrassed by how easily he blushed. Especially when Kurt was around and talking about fetishes, and his mind seemed insistent on picturing what sort of fetishes Kurt might have.

'Ok, do you have a cheerleader fetish then?'

'Oh come on. What person, straight or gay DOESN'T have a cheerleader fetish?'

'Then I must enlighten you my dear Blaine. I was, in fact a cheerleader for Mickinley, and I also happen to be standing right in front of you right now wearing a cheerleading outfit. And you're still not getting the hint.'

'Hint?'

Kurt glared at him and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. Blaine was at first stunned by the boys actions until his hormones kicked in and he started forcefully kissing back. He pushed Kurt back until his back hit the cabin wall, and then proceeded to move his way down Kurt's jaw and neck, nipping at his collarbone.

Kurt let out a soft moan and pulled Blaine closer, running his hands though the damp curls.

Blaine took this as a go ahead to slide his hands up Kurt's shirt, fingers caressing the smooth skin underneath.

'Can I just mention, I have no words to describe this outfit? Except that you should wear it every day and never take it off?'

"and when I needed to wash it?"

"Fuck it, just stay naked."

'Now whilst that sounds like a very good idea, it's not going to happen today, as we are totally being cockblocked by the group of boys that we may, or may not know over there. Who are now trying rather unsuccessfully to hide from us.'

Never mind a cockblock. It was the fucking cockblockalypse thought Blaine, shooting daggers in the direction of the other Warblers as he reluctantly let go of Kurt.

Kurt stepped away from the wall and saw the boys start to get their wallets out.

'Not yet guys, I know what you're up to, and the time isn't now.'

Blaine just looked at them all in confusion, not seeing the wallets. What are they up to?

"...What are you-"

'We uh, came to tell you guys that dinner is ready, but it looks like your already eating each other's faces, so we shall leave you be."

Thad chuckled, walking off, waving over his shoulder. Wes winked as he followed alongside David, who told them very loudly to have fun and use protection. Blaine winced, knowing with David's gob all the other Warblers had probably just heard that

Dinner was going to be rather a rather awkward affair.

**AN: I think Kurt should be a Dalton cheerio in canon. Could you imagine the uniform! (LSM)**

**~(1)**** supplies refers to condoms if anyone was confused on that one.**

**Hmm, I can't wait for Murphy to reveal to Blaine that Kurt was both a cheerleader and a football player. Should be interesting. And as we said, who DOSENT have cheerleader fetishes? Ok, maybe not us, as we don't really get cheerleaders in the UK.**

**Oh, and a bit of news that 'Chia hates me for (and feel free to hate me too), but I got FRONT ROW TICKETS TO GLEE LIVE! BOO-YA!**

**That's all for now from the pair of us.. Please review, we like to know people are reading!**

'**Chia and Kat**


	4. Pillow fight

**Sorry for the delay! Will explain at the bottom!**

'Blaine, can I talk to you outside for a few please?' Wes asked, entering Blaine and Kurt's shared bedroom. He could hear Kurt humming in the shower to what sounded suspiciously like teenage dream.

'Yeah, sure. Let me just leave a note for Kurt' Said Blaine, rolling off the bed and proceeding to put on a coat.

'So, are you two actually dating now?' Wes asked, motioning for Blaine to follow him out into the garden.

'Hey, do I need to remind you what century we live in? Just because someone kisses, it doesn't mean that they are automatically going out with them.'

'Well you have such a Victorian persona I thought I would ask. So how you going to ask him out then?'

'I don't know' Blaine sighed huddling into his coat, 'I mean; I at least know how he feels. He told be back at Valentines. But I don't know about how I feel. I don't know if its lust or love. Kurt deserves love.'

'Wait' Wes held his hand up, turning to face Blaine. 'He told you he loved you back in February? And you didn't do anything?'

'Well, he didn't say it In so many words. He compared us to 'when Harry met Sally''

'But don't they get together in the end?'

'That's what I said, but he just gave a secretive smile and changed the subject.'

'Gah, you are so dense!' Wes shouted. 'Kurt's being Mr Obvious but you don't see it! It's painful to watch. The rest of us can see it. Kurt doesn't love you; he's IN love with you. He basically flat out told you that he wants to go out with you.' Wes stopped his rant before his voice broke and turned away from Blaine.

Blaine was shocked at this outburst, especially when it came from the normally reserved Asian. Sure he messed about with David, but it was usually David that instigated things. He moved round Wes to see that he was struggling at holding tears in check. Blaine stared silently, not knowing how to comfort Wes, or even what the tears were about.

'It's just' Wes croaked 'You have the chance to be more than 'just friends'. And you at least know how he feels. David doesn't know about me, about how I feel. And I don't have the courage like Kurt to just come out and say it. I love him Blaine. I know the rest of you tease how we are secretly gay for each other, but I can't just laugh it off anymore. I just can't.' He let one tear fall, knowing that out of all his friends, Blaine would never comment about it. 'Blaine. Please listen to me, go in there, lay it all out on the line and tell him how you feel. Perhaps, by seeing you use the 'courage' that you often preach about will give me some to do the same. If he still feels the same way he did back in February, then you have nothing to worry about. And judging by the behaviour he has shown so far on this trip, he does and is getting desperate.'

Blaine gently wiped the lone tear off of Wes' face. 'Ok, I will. But not tonight. I want to do it somewhere special. A place without the Warblers around. 'Cause no offence, but you lot with your constant spying and bet making sort of kills any kind of romantic mood.'

Wes chuckled and Blaine was pleased that his efforts to cheer him up seemed to be working. 'Come on, let's go back inside and see what our loved ones are up too.'

When Kurt stepped out of the shower and saw that the bedroom was empty he decided that now was a perfect time to let the others in on his next idea to seduce Blaine. Throwing on a pair of tight boy shorts (1) and a white shirt that was bound to turn see-through due to the water still clinging to Kurt's chest, he headed next door to David and Wes' shared room, surprised to see that again every Warbler, save Wes and Blaine had squeezed into the room and was proceeding to have an epic pillow fight.

Sticking his fingers in his mouth he let off a shrill whistle which caused the pillow fight to stop. All eyes turned to look at him in confusion, then shock at seeing how under-dressed Kurt was.

'What's with the boring undergarments Kurt?' One Warbler shouted, 'they aren't even designer ones.'

'I am only human you know, I am allowed moments of down time. Besides these still fill one of my requirements, they are super skin tight.' Kurt retorted, motioning his attire. His shirt was beginning to turn a little see through as predicted.

'Damn Kurt, if Blaine doesn't take you up against the wall tonight, then sorry, but he had his chance. I'm sure that there are other guys in here willing to fulfil that role…' David popped his head out of a pillow case that had been shoved over his head in the last few seconds of the interrupted pillow fight.

'Thanks for that delightful insight David, but I'm sorry I'm only available for one guy, and will be only for a long time. Anyways, I didn't come in here asking for how fuckable I looked right now, I came to tell you that the next stage of the plan needs a bit of help from you guys. You are all welcome to back out once you hear it if it makes you un-comfortable.'

Motioning for everyone to join him on the floor in a loose circle he outlined his plans for the next evening. He would need to make a trip back into the costume shop for one item. He would also need to borrow someone's iPod as the song he required wasn't currently on his. But if the plan worked, then it was going on there. But only if it did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time Kurt returned from the room next door Blaine was already making motions to get into bed.

'Where did you go then?' Kurt enquired; trying to distract him-self from Blaine's back side. Any erection in these shorts would notify Blaine straight away at what Kurt was thinking.

'Oh just for a turn about the garden with Wes.'

Kurt knew from experience that Blaine only reverted into 'severe dapper language' when he was thinking heavily about something. Another give-away was the fact that Blaine hadn't noticed Kurt's partially see through top, instead rather was focusing at drawing circles around the lamp on the bed-side cabinet next to him.

'Did you know that Wes is completely infatuated with David?' He continued 'not as in a bromance, but completely and utterly smitten? But he's too scared to admit it in case he lost David's friendship, which he would rather keep than be happy.'

'Sounds familiar' Kurt muttered under his breath as he moved towards the vanity to do an extended version of his skin-care regime. He had been out in the sun a lot today.

'I wonder if` David has realised. For Wes' sake I hope David feels the same.' Blaine rambled, not hearing Kurt's comment. 'Wait, Kurt. You get along with David don't you? Couldn't you try to find out if he feels the same?' He gave Kurt his best puppy dog eyes, knowing that no-body could resist them.

Kurt rolled his eyes in the mirror. All he could think of at the moment was damn Wes for causing Blaine to think too much and not convincing him to jump Kurt instead. 'Sure, I shall see what I can do to sort those two out' _after we are_ he added to himself.

**(1): refers to a sort of boxers that girl in the UK wear that are very tight and barely cover the entire backside. That is if you get ones that fit right, some people should never wear them though. Just a warning. Often used as night wear.**

**K; ok, remember the lamp, its important in later chapters. And I know guys, sorry for the lack of innuendos in this chapter. I wrote this when I was at work and I have inadvertently discovered that arguments at work cause me to write better! But then, that might explain the angst in the first half of this chapter.**

**If the writing seams any different in this chapter it's 'because I wrote this on my own without 'Chia (LSM) as she's working night and day to finish her work for the fashion show she needs to pass to complete her course.**

**Im sorry for the time between updates, its exam period atm and I've had 11. But luckily my last two are this coming Friday. Once those are done I have 14 weeks of nothing! Other than work, GleeLive! And 'Chia coming to stay at mine for a week!**

**So, I bid you adieu.**

**Kat**


	5. Dirrty

**The song used in this chapter is called Dirrty by Christina Argularia and has been in my head for days. Then this idea popped into my head and this little piece was created.**

**I forgot to mention back in chapter two that there is a costume on deviantart of Kurt's Dalton cheerio outfit. The link is here; just remove the spaces.**

**h t t p : / / s h a r p i n t h e f a n g . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m / f a v o u r i t e s / # / d 3 a 5 d 9 3**

**There will be a picture of this scene, maybe even more than one as 'Chia can both draw and write. 'cause she's talented like that. Whereas I, alas can only write. I did this chapter alone again as it is 'Chia's 18****th**** today and me being the other side of the country cannot join her in her celebrations. But her birth will be fully celebrated when she comes up to mine for a week at the end of the summer.**

**Hope you all enjoy!**

**Kat**

The next evening Jeff cornered Blaine in the kitchen.

'Blaine, do you trust me?' He asked.

'What is this, a magic carpet ride?' Blaine retorted, 'of course I trust you, I trust all of the warblers.'

'Then we have a surprise for you, but I'm going to have to blindfold you. Are you still ok with that?'

Blaine looked at the blonde Warbler questionably but consenting. After being blindfolded 'You do realise that my birthday isn't for another couple of month's right? And Christmas is a long way off…' he asked before being forcibly sat into a hard backed chair.

'Now Blaine, you must promise to not let your hands move from your knees, no matter what happens, you must keep your hands on your knees at all costs.' At Blaine's promise, Jeff removed the blindfold revealing the majority of the Warblers all dressed in various types of leather.

Blaine couldn't resist 'What are you, a girl's wet dream?'

'No, but we like to get Dirrty' David countered, strutting into the room wearing tight leather trousers and a dark blue jean jacket, which was totally thrown off by the oversized gold chain that was swinging round his neck.

As if the word 'Dirrty' was a signal the group began to beat-box.

_Ah, dirrty_ (dirrty) David instigated, An echo repeated each word that sounded like a breathless Kurt, although in an almost growling voice.  
><em>Filthy<em> (filthy)  
><em>Nasty<em> (Hummel), _you nasty_ (yeah)  
><em>Too dirrty to clean my act up<em>_  
><em>_If you ain't dirrty__  
><em>_you ain't here to party_ (woo!)

As one of the boys started a barking noise Kurt strutted into the room. He was wearing tight red and black leather trousers that disappeared when it came to his groin and backside. Not connected to this was a pair of tight leather pants that flashed skin between the two pieces every time Kurt moved.

Ladies (_move_)  
>Gentlemen (<em>move<em>)  
>somebody ring the alarm<br>a fire in the room  
>Ring the alarm (<em>and I'm throwin' elbows<em>)

Blaine couldn't move his eyes from the flashes of skin until Kurt lowered his chest so that his face was in direct line of sight of Blaine's. Kurt gave a cocky grin as he leant back and saw Blaine's eyes move hungrily up his chest. Blaine's heart almost gave out when he saw that Kurt was topless save the strap that crossed his chest. It was the same strap as the one he had worn to Rachel's failed attempt at a party.

Blaine's eyes focused on the roll of Kurt's almost there abs as he walked, fascinated by that dark trail of hair that led back down to those pants…

Oh, I'm overdue  
>Give me some room<br>I'm comin through  
>Paid my dues<br>in the mood  
>me and the girls gonna shake the room<p>

Kurt began singing again and suddenly lifted his arms into the air, exaggerating the line of his body and began swinging his hips. He started strutting forwards again and when close enough to Blaine he began to lean forward, leaving his chest centimetres from Blaine's eyes, he then started undulating his body until Blaine's face was level with his crotch.

DJ's spinning (show your hands)  
>let's get dirrty (that's my jam)<br>I need that, uh, to get me off  
>Sweatin' until my clothes come off<p>

Kurt then pushed Blaine back into the chair and went over to grind against two Warbler's. He slid down ones leg; knees spread giving Blaine a full view of his crotch and how excited Kurt really was. His member outlined by the tightness of the pants.

It's explosive, speakers are pumping (oh)  
>still jumping, six in the morning<br>Table dancing, glasses are crashing (oh)  
>No question, time for some action<p>

Standing sharply Kurt grabbed the two warbler's shirts and yanked them down, tearing their shirts in the process. Kurt then moved over to the table and rolled onto his back on it, still singing and leaning his head back to stare at Blaine with eyes the simply _smouldered _with lust. Kurt bunched one hand in his hair and used the other to stroke down his chest, by-passing his groin and running down his leg. He grabbed his foot, then the heel of his boot. In a move that Kurt was glad he had practiced he rocked onto his stomach, both hands grasping the heels and then standing up. This manoeuvre showed off every muscle as it moved and made Blaine growl in frustration, he wanted to taste the skin that was beginning to bead with sweat and was driving him mad with desire.

David began the rappers part as Kurt once again sashayed forwards to Blaine, who was clinging to the chair for dear life and proceeded to give him a lap dance. Ever so close and yet not touching.

Blaine couldn't take any more and grabbed Kurt's strap, pulling him fully onto his lap.

'I really fucking love you' he growled low and deep into Kurt's ear, before shoving his tongue down his throat. Kurt melted into Blaine's body but continued to fight for dominance.

The whoops and the cheers that the Warblers let out soon vanished when they realised that the two weren't stopping. Things began to get awkward when Blaine ran his finger nails down Kurt's back, leaving red scratch marks. It caused Kurt to throw his head back and thrust his hips forwards. Blaine groaned at the friction and began biting Kurt's neck. This caused him to thrust his hips forwards again.

The Warblers could see that this was both going to last forever and end quickly. After a quick shot by David of 'get some Hummel' he led the group out of the cabin. Kurt was a loud person normally; it would surprise no-one if he was the same in the throes of passion. As the group reached the front gate they heard a loud cry from the cabin that just confirmed the previous thought.


	6. Return of the Phamplets

**Sorry for the delay guys, been busy, but I'm now at 'Chia's for the night so we can get SOME writing done.**

Wes and David strolled in; smirking at the couple sprawled across the sofa, Blaine resting his head on Kurt's chest.

"Heh, always had Blaine as a top, but based on the last few demands by Kurt, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise. Hey what are you doing?'

During his little speech Wes had moved over so that he was crouching in front of the pair. Then suddenly he gave a large jab to Kurt's side, making Kurt sit up knocking Blaine off the sofa yelling 'Blaine, PUT LITTLE DAPPER AWAY!'

Wes and David just looked at each other, falling over in their hysteria and gasping words 'named… dick…dapper…my god' Kurt blushed bright red, cursing under his breath as Blaine lifted his head and glared at the pair of intruders, who by now were almost crying.

"What the hell are you two arseholes doing in here? Shouldn't you be off creating sexual tension between each other and denying it or something?" snapped Kurt. David and Wes grinned, pulling out a series of leaflets. Kurt and Blaine looked at them apprehensively as they sat on the opposite sofa, spreading them out in front of them.

"Well, since our two little boys have decided to take things that stage further we decided we should educate you both. Now, would you like to start with fisting, butt-plugs or rimming?" David grinned widely, Wes following suit picking up a booklet called 'the bottom line'. Kurt and Blaine looked blankly at him, unsure what to say, or how to get rid of them.

"Ah, I see, you're so touched by our kindness you have been rendered speechless. In that case let's start with the basics-positions. There's the clasp AKA gay missionary as shown by these two action men…..oh, and the straddle on the adjacent page.' He flipped the booklet round and Kurt's jaw dropped. There were actual dolls explaining the positions. Kurt took it almost without thinking, wanting to get a closer look at what the booklet actually said. It used rather crass terminology, even suggesting that you could microwave a carrot for 30 seconds to bring it to body temperature and then 'fuck' yourself with it, but it was pretty factual once you got past the filth. Right at the back was a doll holding a banana between its legs, next to a paragraph on healthy eating which made gawp I disgust.

"What the heck is that!" he asked, turning the page to hide the offending banana pic only to be greeted by diagrams of arses and the correct way to position the penis so as not to cause pain. He groaned and leant forward, smacking his head onto the table. David chuckled and poked him in the back of the head with another booklet.

"Now here I was assuming you'd be interested. It's obvious Kurt's like a cat in heat, you're gonna have your hands full." Blaine growled, glaring at them, clearly wanting the troublesome duo to fuck off already. Said duo just smiled innocently, asking if they'd like any demonstrations. Kurt's head snapped up to look at them, whilst Blaine looked more than mildly horrified. Wes rapped on the table, calling out for Thad, who burst in wearing PVC hot pants with a zip that went right down his crotch, underneath, and back up to the waistband on the back of the shorts. He flounced up to them, turning round so his back was to them, undoing the zip as he leant forwards, bending at the hips. In his hand, which he started to move towards the opening was a large hot pink dildo complete with soft rubbery spiky sheath. Kurt shrieked in horror of the 'demonstration' and hid in Blaine's shirtless chest. The effect of his innocence was kind of ruined by the fact that he was still wearing the Xtina style chaps that he had performed the 'dirrty' dance in. Happy couple suitably traumatised, Wes, David and Thad high-fived and ran off, laughing as they went, throwing leaflets over their shoulders. Kurt and Blaine sat there in shocked silence for a moment before Blaine chuckled.

"Well, that certainly cooled 'little dapper' down."

Kurt just shook his head, wondering how on earth he had ever thought that Dalton was a normal school. Suddenly his eyes gleamed as an idea popped into his head. Blaine recognised this look, he had been on the receiving end a couple of times, and things never went well for the receiver of one of Kurt's 'plotting faces' Hoping to spare the unfortunate threesome he tried to distract Kurt with the prospect of head, but Kurt didn't take the hints, already working on his plan mentally.

Oh well, Blaine thought, it wasn't like the three didn't deserve it…

Back in their room Wes and David were discussing ways to further disturb the couple with Wes occasionally piping up with a suggestion from the bathroom whilst he was getting changed.

'Hey, why don't we just have a day of rest? Why don't we let them think that we have done everything? Also, I want to enjoy this holiday, have something to write about other than sexual tension.' Wes piped.

'Yeah, but between whom?' Thad butted in, flinging the shorts at Wes which landed in his lap, and the toy at David, who surprisingly caught it, without even flinching at what it actually was. 'Hey, David, how come you're not flinching about the fact that you're holding a sex toy?'

'Well, by dear Thaddus, my ex-girlfriend was rather adventurous in our sex-life, and I've had one of these before.' David replied simply, tossing the toy from one hand to the other before examining it closely 'Though I've never had one this large, or this colour before…'

Wes' mind went blank, blood rushing from one head to another; 'So you have had things up your backside before?'

'Yeah, I mean, it feels great, can fully understand why some people are gay, and I love that gay couples are so flexible. With girls you're kinda stuck with one way, sure they can penetrate you, but they get no real pleasure out of it.'

'And that is my cue to exit' Thad thought to himself, noting the way that David was describing this was making the Asians eyes roll into the back of his head in imagination and highly doubted that either would noticed his disappearance.

"What do you think? You tried it?….although you're probably more of a giver right?" David asked, totally unaware that Wes was pitching a tent thinking about 'trying' it with him. "Oi, don't you play the prude, bitch." he added, elbowing him in the ribs when he didn't get a reply.

"Huh? Oh, uh….yeah, sure." David gave him a questioning look then shrugged it off.

"You thinking of Thaddus' butt?" he teased.

'Yeah, something like that.' Wes stood up, 'Look, I'm going to go have a shower and then head to bed. I'm feeling kind of uncomfortable right now. I shall see you in the morning. Goodnight.'

David was shocked by the formality, he knew Wes only got like this when the shit went down. Did Wes actually like Thad? He had to find out, and he was sure that Blaine would know, they had always been fairly close. 'Wes, I'm going check on Klaine, I'll be back later' he called through the door before leaving the room.

**Ok, I know we left it on a kind of hanger, but we have been writing this while at 'Chia's and are slightly (as in very) drunk now. But we are still writing, expect more soon. And please send requests, we are a lil' low on ideas. Thanks**

**LSM: wait for it mother lovers! **


	7. Magic Lamp

"I am never going to be able to look at Thad the same again….or action men for that matter." Blaine nodded in agreement. 'Well, as informative that this night has been' Kurt chuckled 'I really must get my beauty sleep, it's gone midnight.' He got up grabbing Blaine's hand and pulling him up with him.

Kurt led the way back to their bedroom, and shut the door before finding himself pushed up against it, with Blaine thrusting his tongue into Kurt's open mouth. Kurt moaned as Blaine deepened it even further, slamming Kurt's back into the door as Kurt had thrust up into Blaine.

'Blaine, we have two perfectly good beds over there, we can do the door later.' Kurt pointed out around Blaine's tongue. Blaine picked Kurt up and he wrapped his legs around Blaine's torso, so that when Blaine threw Kurt onto the bed Blaine toppled with him, landing between Kurt's spread legs. Blaine growled as he felt his erection come into contact with Kurt's and began thrusting into the smaller boy. However, the actions stopped when the lamp next to the bed suddenly went out. Both boys glanced at it, then decided it was unimportant and resumed their actions, rolling their hips together, grinding erections. Just as suddenly as it had gone off, the lamp flickered back into life. Again both boys glanced over at it, confused before deciding it was unimportant and resuming, and again, the lamp turned off. Kurt couldn't help himself, and broke out in a fit of the giggles. Blaine shortly followed suit, leaning over to turn the lamp on, hoping it would behave itself.

'Oh look Blaine, we're flashing!' Kurt giggled.

'Ok, totally did not need to hear that guys' David commented, throwing the door open and fixing them with a glare.

'Ok, now you are a fucking cockblock David, what the hell do you want now?' Kurt sniped, he was getting really pissed with these interruptions. Sure he was grateful for the assistance the Warblers had provided earlier, but now that he had Blaine, he wanted nothing BUT Blaine.

"I want Blaine. …wait, not like that. Just let me borrow him for 5 minutes?" said David, hastily adding the last bit after receiving a killer glare from Kurt.

'Fine, I need to go start my routine anyways' Kurt wriggled out from underneath Blaine, sending him an apologetic look and glaring at David.' We need to shower anyway love; I still have a massive wet patch in these trousers. And I REALLY don't want to ruin them, they have soo many possibilities. Come and join me when you're done please?' With another glare thrown behind him he pulled the bathroom door shut.

David waited till he could hear the shower start till he spoke. 'Ok, really too much info about your 'activities' from earlier there.' Blaine just scowled and David sat next to him on the bed. Blaine moved back against the wall and drew his knees under him to give David more room. 'But he totally has you whipped doesn't he?'

'Only for the meantime, I have a few ideas that I'm sure he will love…' Blaine trailed off 'Anyway, what do you want? Kurt is right, between the three of you, you are all total cockblocks.'

'Well, it's to come ask about Wes. I think he might be into Thad. We were talking about sex toys earlier after leaving you and about how I'm flexible and then Thad threw his pants at Wes. After that he was totally pitchin'. I mean, it's cool if Wes fancies Thad, but it's not because I like Wes. I just want to know where I stand with those two, I mean what if I cockblock them as bad as I do you? Someone's going to try and kill me in a fit of sex deprived rage! And my god I'm rambling. So I'm just going to shut up my face right now, before I put my foot into it…' Blaine looked at him in disbelief, wondering if he was deliberately dense or not. That; and what it was like in Narnia.

'How about we play a game. Yes or No?' David nodded so Blaine sat up properly.

'Do you like both boys and girls?'

David nodded.

'Do you like anal play with either gender?'

Again David nodded.

'Ok, do you like Thad?'

'Yeah, sure we are on the Warbler council together. If I didn't we would never agree on anything for the group'

'Ok, next, do you like Wes?'

'Yes he's my brother from another mother'

'Do you like the idea of Wes getting it on with Thad?'

This time David just shook his head.

'Right, do you like the idea of you getting it on with Wes?'

David just looked away from Blaine.

'David, are you aware that you are blushing rather heavily?' After a heavy pause 'I think we have sussed out your problem, I think that you like Wes more than you would like to admit. And you just admitted to me that you are pretty flexible.'

'But I have known him since we were about 7, so of course I'm going to feel uncomfortable if he's taken an interest in Thad. He's like my brother; no-one likes the thought of their brother getting it on!'

'But David, were you that bothered when you found out that Wes had had sex with his girlfriend?'

'Well no…'

'There you go, you feel uncomfortable, 'cause you are viewing Thad as competition on your relationship, whereas with Wes' ex you followed the rule 'Bros' before ho's. But now it's male, you don't know whether Thad counts as a bro or a ho.'

'Do you?'

'Counts as a bro or ho? Yeah, Wes sees him as a bro because he's got the hots for someone else. And I view Thad as a bro because he's not trying to move in on my man.'

'Hm, that so? Alright Blaine, thanks.' David promptly got up and walked out, leaving Blaine wondering if maybe he should have mentioned talking to Wes or maybe should have just left it at Wes fancying someone other than Thad, since it looked like that had rather depressed David.

'Blaine, I'm all naked and wet' Kurt sing-songed through the door. Pushing aside thoughts of the Wavid love triangle to mull over later, Blaine practically jumped out of his remaining clothes to join Kurt in the shower.

**P.S.; leaflet from last chapter is an actual one released by the Terence Higgins trust over here in the UK, and it is as genius as we made it out to be. The action men are tattooed XD.  
>We are sorry it is short, but we are tired, struggling to find the right words and running low on drink. So prompts are good, they are almost as good as alcohol and are a darn sight cheaper!<strong>

**Night!**

**Kat and 'Chia.**


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